You won't believe me, given these recent entries, but toilet-realm material is not my genre (it's my brother's). But, "they" say, parenting changes you. Anyway—
So I was on the toilet and the telephone rang. Benjamin speaks pretty well for his age, so we often let him answer the phone. He loves it, in fact, he insists on it.
He ran for the phone. Then I remembered what happens, so I tried to pre-empt, "Um, when you answer, just say your dad's not available; don't say I'm in the bathroom, please."
"Hello?" Pause. "Oh, no, he's on the potty right now."
Fortunately it was my wife. I haven't always been so lucky.